Why Don’t My Parents Understand Me? 2023

Have you ever been in such situation and think, why don’t my parents understand me? It means you want to make your parents happy.

Mostly, parents want to see the best in their children.

They want to see their kids better than them. They always want you to walk in the right path.

    Why don’t my parents understand me? Short Overview 

    Why don't my parents understand me?
    Why don't my parents understand me?   Photo: Google Image

    Some parents think providing Food, Clothes, Shelter, and Education for their children along with disciplining is a good parenting. They never share anything with their kids.

    They don't communicate openly and frankly having real heart to heart conversations.

    As a result, they never understand their children’s feelings.

    A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves.-BANKSY

    Another reason can be because of work, daily life pressures and running errands.

    Every time they are busy to make money and have no time for heart-to-heart conversations with their children. In such cases, Children often grow up a little detached.

    Overall, they share nothings with their parents. Then, parents also think everything is going well.

    Because of age gap between parents and their kids, they may have different biases and beliefs. So, until you have deep talk to your family your parents never understand you. 

    Main 8 Reasons Why Your Parents Don’t Understand you.

    Relationships between children and parents can be complex and challenging, mainly during adolescence and young adulthood.

    Father and Mother try to understand their children’s thoughts and emotions but mostly fails.

    Here we list some common reasons: why your parents don’t understand you.


    1)    Busy Schedule

    These days most of us have working parents.

    When both parents are working, there is no proper time for kids, and they may feel ignored by their parents.

    There are following situations the children can feel when their parents are busy.

          Working parents cannot have sufficient sharing with their kids.

          With busy time schedule, they cannot eat and relax with their parents which is very necessary.

          With professional stress, parents may not be so loving and affectionate to their kids in daily life


    2)    Generation Gap

    Because of generation ga you may always have a question; Why do I feel no connection to my parents?

    Age gap is one of the biggest reasons parents cannot catch their children’s emotions.

    When they were grown up, the time was different. Technology was different. So, they have, different values and life experiences.

    That is why they have differences in opinions and perspectives.

    Here are some tips to reduce generation gap:

          Do not indulge long time in gadget.

          Come home in time.

          Do work according to their interest.


    3)    Cultural Fact

    Culture plays a main role to create discomfort in the relationship between you and your parents.

    Even your mother and father are grown up with different culture and they may not have similar ideology. But still they try to adopt the culture where they are living, and they want you to be assimilated in that culture.

    Because of the social prestige and relatives circle, they want to follow the culture to adjust.

    But on the other hand, you are a product of modern world where everybody wishes to enjoy the life in own way.

    You feel that there is nothing to do with culture. When you don’t follow the culture, your parents don’t understand you.


    4)    Rapid Growth of Technology

    The world is developed rapidly with different technology and the new generation or children always want to be updated with those change.

    However, parents want to follow the tradition and there comes different ideology.


    5)    Lack of Communication

    If you don’t have good communication with your parents, it can lead to misbeliefs and arguments. If you don’t have good communicating habit you may feel that why don't people like me, there arise more misconceptions.

    Either you cannot express yourself clearly or your parents doesn’t listen you, it will lead to frustration. So:

          Try to be more connected with parents.

          Listen their sentiments.

          Never argue with them.


    6)    Different Choice

    Almost all the Parents and children often have different choice.

    May be your parents gives more priority to education and career goals, but you may prioritize social activities and friendships.

    As a result, there may arise a conflict.

    Note: I know you have different choice and feelings than your parents. But parents don’t accept that because of generation gap and technology development. Almost parents are more traditional. So, understand them. Try to be good in front of them. Now you are grownup. You know what is good and what’s not. That is why move ahead according to your choice.


    7)    Professional Difference

    Most of the parents want their kids to continue their work.

    Why don't my parents understand me?
    Why don't my parents understand me? Photo: Google Image

    For example, if your parents have a big educational business, they are so much connected with their work and prestige and they want their children to continue the business.

    However, modern children want more freedom and independence and want to choose their own career with their interests.

    In this way, parents become upset with their kids.


    8)    Convention

    Parents have so much struggle and experiences in life, and they want their kids not to have that struggling life.

    All parents make a kind of path for their kids, and they wish their kids to follow them.

    There are different tradition and convention that parents have and of course they prefer their new generation to continue that.

    But on the contrary, you have new ideas, invention and adventure and you don’t want to continue the convention you parents are having.

    So, there will be lack of understanding between you and your parents.



    How to make my parents understand me? 10 Tips

    Please friends, respect your parents and their business. Love them as who they are. Appreciate them for what they have done in their life.

    Keep on asking about the stories of their struggle. Make them feel that you are proud of having them as parents.

    Unless you listen to them, they will not listen to you too. If you both don’t understand each other, misunderstanding may occur. 

    And eventually, the conflict leads to frustration and depression. So, it is necessary to share and communicate with your parents.

    If you are upset with your parents, take time, and cool down. In a respective way, tell all your feelings. If they don’t listen you, here are some tips for you to make them understand.

    1.     Never Défense

    You should be always respectful to your parents. They are your source where you come from and the creator who showed you this beautiful world.

    Don’t talk back! I did that repeatedly until I finally realized that an argument (and punishment) could have been avoided if I had just controlled my tongue!-Danielle.

    We can get everything again in the world if we lose once but we never get compliment of our parents.

    I suggest you not to defence with your parents. They don’t hurt you intentionally.

    It is because of the generation gap you have many differences with them, but they love you immensely.

    How can you settle the conflict with your parents if you cannot defense? Here are some points.

          Listen to them well first and try to know what the cause of that conflict is.

          Take time and think if you are also causing the issues with them.

          If there is mistake from your side, apologies with them.

    (Note: it is most easy to ask apology with parents among all the people because they don’t take advantage of our apology rather, they love you more when you apologies).

          If your parents are creating mistake, explain them being cool who they are doing it, they will regret and appreciate your parents. Finally, you will have further strong connection with them.


    2.     Proper Communication

    For every kind of relationship to be strengthened, communication is the key tool.

    Why don't my parents understand me? Photo
    Why don't my parents understand me? Photo: Google Image

    Mostly children after their marries try to make their wife/husband happy but feel no connection with parents because of the lack of communication.

    Now these days, everybody is so busy on work and when they are at home, they are busy in social media chatting and watching.

    So, there is no share, no exchange of love and feelings.

    How can you increase communication with parents? Here are some points.

          Separate time to have a nice talk with your parents every day. It could be even a little time but is necessary to connect with them daily.

          If you are far from your parents, call them or have face time with them.

          Share your updates how you are doing. This is the main thing that your parents expect from you always.


    3.     Eye contact

    Parents are the best people in your life. They are the close one and nearest one.

    They want you to be closer and friendly. Make eye contact with them so that they will feel loved.

          Keep on having talk with them often and be face to face while you communicate.

          Look at their eyes when you are sharing something or when you want advice from them.

          The more you make eye contact with your parents, the closer you will be with them.


    4.     Respect

    Parents are the most respectful people in your life.

    The most necessary thing to make your parents happy is to respect them.

    When you respect them, they will understand you more. If they know, you have deep respect on then, they will listen you better and will try to fulfil your dream.

    How can you show respect on them then…?

    I.     listen to them.

    II.    Don’t fight with them.

    III.  Celebrate their special day

    You can;

          Join them in their birthday, anniversary party.

          Celebrate festival with them.

          Be present when they have some events in social or professional life.

          Buy some gifts for them which can make them feel how much you care them.


    5.     Take care of them

    Talking care of your parents, will be one of the loving child for them and you will get more blessings from them. How can you take care of them?

          Ask them how the day was.

          Ask if they want anything from you.

          Be more careful about their health.

          Take them in travelling and entertainment.

          If you are not working still, tell them that you want to travel with them. They will be happy to go out with you.


    6.     Be frank and open

    Sharing is the soothing medicine to have a healthy relationship with your parents so that they will understand you better.

    Be open to talk with them and make them feel that you value them a lot.

    You don’t have to share each and everything with them but be communicative and sharing when it is necessary.

    If you are frank with your parents, they will trust you more and understand you better.


    7.     Follow their advice

    If you are obedient to your parents, they will be so happy with you.

    It is not easy to follow all of their advices because you may have different choice. But if you follow some of their suggestion and express to them that you like their idea, that will be the best pleasure for them.

    And other time, when you don’t like their advice, you can convince to them with your lovely words.

    If you obey some of the suggestions of your parents then, you can tell that you cannot do that as that is not worth to do.

    You can recall them, how you obey them happily, when their suggestion is worth to follow.

    The more you be friendly to them, the better it will be easy to adjust with them and to their advice.


    8.     Listen to them

    This is the most important point that you need to listen your parents.

    Most of the children don’t want to talk and listen to their parents. Rather they try to impress girl/boy.

    Due to the lack of communication, the relationship gets more and more distant.

    When your parents want to share something, be calm and listen to them. The more you listen to them, the better they understand you.

    9.     Support in indoor and outdoor work

    Your parents did a lot for you to make, whatever you are today.

    They always try to make you the best and invest their love, energy and everything for your happiness.

    We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves. – Henry Ward Beecher

    Now you are grown up and it is your turn to support them whatever you can. Don’t feel lazy to help them in both indoor and outdoor work.

    I.     Help in the kitchen

    •      Cook their favorite food sometimes.
    •      If your parents are cooking, join them and help to prepare the        disk
    •      Appreciate their cooking

    II.    Help to clean the house

    Your parents will be happy if you join to maintain the house clean. Work together with them when they are cleaning the house.

    III.  Help to Buy necessary things


    10.   Appreciate them

    Importantly, you need to appreciate your parents often for their good work, their path of success, their struggle in their life and for being good parents for you.

    Even if you are not dealing good with your parents, you should try to find their best thing.

    Remember good memories with your parents and try to celebrate such moments.



    If you feel your parents don’t understand you, then, there is something you can do. Be calm and try to convince them.

    Ask your parents questions about how they felt and what they did when they were a child, teen, and adult. Listen their life story. Be more curious and ask more stories.




    1.     Why don’t parents understand their child?

    Parents have their own set of belief system which thy follow since long so, they don’t understand their children.


    2.     Why don’t parents apologize to their kids?

    None of the parents want to show that they were wrong, and they may feel embarrassed with you also. They might also feel that after you might take advantage of the situation.


    3.     Should you forgive a bad parent?

    Either they are good or bad. They are your parents who raise you, feed you, educate you. See your parents face and decide either to forgive or not.


    4.     How do you make parents realize their mistakes?

    Don’t think that your parents will change overnight. Forgive your parents for their small mistakes. Try to prove yourself trustworthy. Try to remind your parents very respectfully when they forget your point of view.


    5.     Why am I so angry at my parents all the time?

    There can be multiple reasons that children might resent or have anger toward their own parents. Strained relationships with family, abuse or neglect, clashes in values, unresolved childhood conflicts etc. can be common reasons you may get angry with your parents.


    6.     Why is it so hard to talk to my parents?

    Not only you, many people report that being afraid with parents, it is hard to communicate.






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